UnderWoman Goes "Om"

In the aftermath of a free NY Philharmonics concert and fireworks in Central Park, the crowds have cleared.

What remains is mostly empty wine and water bottles, abandoned picnic baskets and blankets, maintenance and security crews.

And, underneath a grove of trees, seemingly besotted and without bearings, unable to see or speak clearly, stumbling when she tries to stand…one woman.

And, making his way towards her, weighed down with scavenged bits of ham, brie and bread, opened cans of beer, old newspapers, a seemingly homeless man….

He rifles through her purse -- camera, cell phone, cash, credit cards -- as she is trying to talk…either with a severe speech impediment or in a language he can’t understand.

Finally, she musters enough strength to stomp on his foot, elbow him in the chest, grab her wallet out of his hands and flash her !MEDICAL ALERT CARD! like it was some badge of courage.

“I have myasthenia gravis,” it says in bold letters, red and black, ”a disease that can make me so weak that I may have difficulty standing or speaking….Sometimes these symptoms are mistaken for intoxication. If I appear to need help, please contact my physician or hospital immediately.”

Now the man is conflicted, hovering somewhere between criminal intent and genuine caring.

He pauses, picks up a plastic-covered, polyester-lined tablecloth from the rain-soaked ground and puts it around her shoulders; offers food and drink, thinks for a minute, seems confused about the calling the contacts on her card, sits on the ground and begins to cry.

She sits next to him and cries also.

Some time goes by.

Then, the man seems to take heart, has hatched a plan:

“How many fingers am I holding up?” he asks, making the sign that doubles for “peace” and “victory.”

She also holds up two, and he seems pleased.

He touches his index finger to his nose.

She does the same.

Next, he begins reciting poetry:

“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a….”

She fills in the next word, barely audible, “patient…”

He continues:

“Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats....”

Then, he spies a police officer out of the corner of his eye and flags him down.

The NYPD officer in his Interceptor II is immediately on the scene...was, in fact, already on his way there…..

“What have we here?” he asks. “A drunk and a derelict? Or is there another way you want to explain it?”

The woman gestures to herself -- “Endy Ubit” -- hands the police officer her medical card, points to somewhere just beyond the perimeter of park, and says, incoherently, emphatically, drooling slightly, “Om.”

The officer looks perplexed, and motions to the man: “And you, Tarzan…under arrest?”

Endy shakes her head “No. Ero!”

“Zero?” The officer is trying hard to understand. Endy fishes in her purse for pen and paper, and holds up this sign: “Hero.”

The man formerly suspected of stealing her purse seems surprised, but tries the word on for size: “Hero… Yes, I suppose so!”

“And that makes me…..?” asks the officer.

She holds up the sign again:

“Hero.”

They fall silent, stand in a circle.

Blare and flash of sirens approach.

“An ambulance?” asks the man.

“And a squad car,” says the officer.

“Om only?!” pleads Endy, who both men are almost starting to understand.

Medics assess Endy’s condition while the man undergoes a background check.

After some gallows humor and a little laughter, the cars leave, sirens off.

“Om only,” says the officer.

With Endy propped up in the middle, both men see her safely home.

At the doorstep:

“Om now,” offers Endy.

“You saw the "ero" in us,” says the gentleman.

“There’s got to be a name for that,” says the officer.

In fact, there is!

“UnderWoman,” says Endy, bowing her head respectfully, ducking inside.

It is a name she had bestowed upon herself only recently -- in tribute to her relatively new "disability;" in honor of her lifelong ability to see and bring out the best in self and others; and in celebration of her talent for making fun, even if only of herself, in the face of it all….

It is the first time she has uttered the name aloud.