UnderWoman™ Gets A New Look: Her Old Self

UnderWoman™ likes her first logo.

Unlike days of brand building for Fortune 500s -- with rich budgets and art departments around the world -- UnderWoman™ Take One has cost $0!

She is proud to have done something semi-artistic on her own:

She has, without serious injury, used an Exacto® knife to cut an image from a photo of a caricature of herself at sixteen. This image leaps out from an egg cracking open, made by using a Sharpie® to nestle a W into a U. She loves the tag lines that this logo might lead to -- UnderWoman™ Hatches a Plan, UnderWoman™ Thinks Outside the Egg, UnderWoman™ Acts Over her Egg, and more.

She is confident that Exacto® and Sharpie® will sign on as sponsors soon.

Still, the feedback on the original UW logo does not come back unanimous:

Some say UW’s big eyes and thin thighs do no service to humanity in an already anorexic media environment. Others are upset that she is missing a left hand. (It had formerly held a “Sweet Sixteen” heart that Wendy found sappy and “accidentally” removed with a quick slip of the Exacto®.)

Undaunted, and taking all this feedback in stride, UnderWoman™ sets off in search:

At the Central Park Zoo, she susses out the caricaturists -- judging them on a weighted average of paper stock, pricing, boldness, accuracy, speed.

When she has found THE ONE, she presents him with her hope -- holding forth the cut-out figure, presenting her preferred Pantone Matching System® color palette, pointing to potential type faces, pontificating about the “happy medium” look that will "split the difference" between her younger self and her older self.

“Wait,” the Caricature King cuts her short: “You are looking for a LOGO, not a caricature!"

“Well, really more like a brand than a logo,” says UnderWoman™, quite pleased.

“I can’t just do that for you, here, in public, in the park,” he hisses, “lest everyone in the line behind you also seeks to be a brand.”

“And the problem with that would be?” asks UnderWoman™.

He hands her a card, and says, in loud whisper: “I mean, I would have to do this in private, at night, for more pay.”

UnderWoman™ balks, bargains: "Would you be willing to throw in some stocks of Obama, Oprah, Martha, Madoff? Sometimes UnderWoman™ wants to talk with them. UnderWoman™ also seeks thematic and seasonal backdrops as part of the packege. See! The cracking egg also resembles a tulip, which is especially heartening in the Spring. I'm thinking Colorforms®, paper dolls. And...."

“Please stop now," he says. "Google® me. E-mail me. Call me. But don't give people ideas...."

“Dessine-moi un mouton,” she says, as parting words.

He laughs...must know what she means.

But it may be months before they pursue this path again.

For now, other things take precedence....